Everything's Ok
by foreverblueandwhite
Summary: Gwen couldn't believe what she was seeing and hearing. She felt like throwing up but instead let out a choked sob as she watched the reporter talk on the T.V. "It is my great displeasure to have to inform you all that the NYPD has released their official statement. The masked hero, Spiderman, is dead." Post-Movie Verse
1. Chapter 1

**Disclaimer: I own nothing that has to do with Spiderman (unfortunately) although I'm in love with all of the characters and Andrew will forever be Spiderman now.**

**This is my first story so be kind.**

**Love to hear from you all though so review, like, follow, ect. Thanks **

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Chapter 1: Revenge is a Bitch

_ It had to be one of the hardest things I had ever done. Watching Gwen Stacy pour her heart out to me; yearning to be comforted by the one person she thought she could rely on. The rain had soaked her hair through, and by the way she kept pushing it behind her ears I could tell she thought she looked like a mess. I couldn't disagree more. The wet, messy, windblown hair looked like a beautiful blonde halo framing her perfectly shaped face. The umbrella in her hands hadn't really done anything to help, the rain was literally coming down sidewise. I remember how I was briefly distracted from the real problem at hand; that was until Gwen started reaching out for me. It was clear from her choked speech I had hurt her by not being around when she most needed me, but she was willing to forget all that for a simple comforting hug. _

_ That was the last straw. If I gave into that embrace, if I stood there in the rain with her in my arms I would never let go. And I had to let her go, I had to keep my promise to Captain Stacy, and keep Gwen safe. So I pushed her away, I told her to go and that I couldn't do_ this _anymore. And I felt like a complete asshole doing it. I watched as her eyes showed what little hope and healing I had started to see form as she stood on my front porch, shatter. _Shit, why does it have to be me who breaks her heart? _And that was the last of the two of us. I had made a promise to a dying man I couldn't break it…could I? No, I couldn't. _

_ As Peter Parker I was a nothing, just a nerdy guy with a skateboard and a love for everything science-y. Now that guy, he could break promises and no one would care. But as Spiderman, the great New York hero, there was no way I could go back on my word. Little kids looked up to me. Criminals feared my mighty fists of justice. Well maybe not that but they were afraid of the weird guy that flies around in a spandex suit. And just my luck I had made my promise to the Captain in my suit, saving the city. I made my promise to stay away from his daughter, the only girl I had really ever loved, as Spiderman. _

_ So call me a jerk. Call me an Asshole, call me whatever you want, because you're probably right. But as much as I wish I could have called Gwen back as she walked away from me that day and begged for forgiveness, I couldn't. Gwen and I were done, we had to be for her protection. I could tell you every little detail of that five minute conversation. I could tell you she was wearing an uncharacteristically casual outfit of jeans, a t-shirt, and a jacket. I could tell you that her umbrella was blue with white poke-a-dots. I could tell you whatever you want because that was the day my happy little life ended. _

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Three Months Later

Gwen Stacy was out for blood. She wasn't normally the violent type; in fact she hated everything about a gun. But at this moment in time she was seriously considering it. She was going to kill him. Peter Parker was the biggest prick known to man. Apparently he couldn't even let her have a pain free first week of school. Oh no, he didn't think about anyone else but himself, so why would he even consider her feelings. She stormed through the halls of the school with such an atmosphere of anger and power, people were making a path for her. Gwen was so absorbed by her evil plotting that she didn't see her best friend, MJ, no more than six feet in front of her.

"Hot Damn Stacy, what's got your panties in a bunch?" MJ sure had a way with words.

"I'm going to kill him. Just straight up kill him," Gwen mumbled in response.

"Who are you talking about?"

"I'm thinking either a quick suppressed gunshot to the head, or a chemical bath so that he can slowly dissolve to death," she continued her evil plans. MJ looked her friend up and down real slow several times without saying a word. Gwen finally snapped at her when she started poking around her shoulders and neck. "What _are _you doing MJ?"

"I'm trying to find where the Crazy is leaking out of in order to fix you," her friend replied, continuing her pretend exploration of her friends face and upper body.

"Well would you stop it? I have places to be, people to slowly peel the skin off of," Gwen huffed as she stomped her way purposely towards to science hallway where Peter's locker was located. MJ sighed and followed her friend on her rampage through the halls.

"Would you at least tell me what's going on. What's the problem Stacy?"

"Parker that's what the problem is. That stupid, stupid boy has finally done it. Do you know what he did to me this time?" Her friend started to answer, but Gwen cut in before she could. MJ rolled her eyes and let her friend continue. "Lily told Jake to tell Macy to tell me that Tim said to her that Richard was told by Thomas that Peter said I was nothing to get worked up about and that he should forget me. Can you believe that?" Gwen finished her story and was staring at MJ, breathing heavily.

"Wait, who said what?"

"Ug, you're no help at all, you know that right?" Her friend shrugged her shoulders and Gwen didn't press any further because that had arrived at Peter's locker. She scanned that area, quickly locating her target. Peter was desperately trying to open his locker as the couple that was always there, was making out right on it. She remembered how Peter used to rant about them all the time when they were da-….never mind. She started to march up to him, but was beat by a certain meat-head basketball player.

"Yo, Parker what's the big idea telling all the little squirts to call me Eugene?" Flash barked at Peter. However the geeky teenager didn't turn around. This just got the bigger boy angrier. Flash grabbed the back of Peter's backpack and whipped him around. "Hey Nerd, didn't you hear me…NO? Well let me make this clearer," Flash picked Parker up and threw him up against the lockers. The side of Peter's face crashed against the lockers so hard, when he turned around blood was dripping down his forehead.

"Peter!" Gwen started to rush forward but MJ grabbed her. She looked back at her and MJ gave a slow shake of her head. He wasn't her responsibility anymore. _Old habits die hard_, she thought.

"What the Hell Flash! Are really that insecure about yourself that your biggest weakness is your name? Come on, even I'm not that much of a wuss, and we all know how amazing I am," Peter was so angry that he was practically spitting. Gwen watched Peter take a deep breath to say something else, but he never got to. When he turned around to face Flash, his fist came so fast Gwen was sure not even Peter's enhanced senses could have seen it coming. Flash's fist collided with Peter's face to hard, the skinny brown haired boy spun around.

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_The punch came out of nowhere; I didn't know it was coming until it was too late. There was so much force behind it that I'm sure I looked like some cartoon character with my head spinning all the way around, a few stumbled steps, until I land (ass first) on the ground facing the wrong way. Everything hurt and I was just plain tired, so I gave up and slumped to the floor. I closed my eyes for a second and just lay there and tasted the blood in my mouth. The last thing I really remember was someone yelling my name, then….nothing but black._


	2. Chapter 2

**Disclaimer: I own nothing that has to do with Spiderman (single tear)**

**Here we go, chapter two**

Chapter 2:

_I tried to open my eyes, but was met with nothing but darkness…still. _Oh God, I'm dead. That's it; Flash hit me so hard my brain was dislodged. _I'm not a drama queen ok, so don't make fun of me but I seriously though I was dead. _

_Ok big guy let's just calm down here. Deep breaths. When I finally calmed down enough to think straight I started to realize something other than the darkness. A cold wet feeling was being rhythmically slide back and forth near my hairline. Right on the top of my forehead. _

_That cool feeling suddenly grounded me. I could feel the bed I was laying on, and the scratchy doctor's paper that was on top of that. I could feel a slow pounding in my head, location right where the rhythmic motion was still going on. _

_I used these things to start painting a picture of what was going on around me. I concentrated really hard and sound came flooding back into my senses. The crunch of the paper under my body and then the sound you get when you rub skin up against rubber. I could hear phones ringing and the voices of teenagers in the background. _

Am I in the office? _It would make sense. After hitting the lockers I was bleeding from my head, which is a big red flag for adults. Now that I think about it, I'm pretty sure I was also bleeding either from my lip or nose thanks to Flash. _

_I slowed my thoughts again to concentrate on the sounds and feelings around me. I sought out the sound of my own breathing (I just needed real conformation that I wasn't dead). To my surprise I heard not only my own breathing, but also another person's deep, steady breathing. Then the cool motion stopped, and was replaced by what could only be a hand in my hair. _

_I gathered all the strength I could, and screamed at my brain to open my eyes. Thankfully they cracked a little bit, allowing stabbing light into my eyes. I groaned and shook my head a little trying to get back in control of my body. A gasp rang through the room and the hand that had been in my hair was whipped away. _

"_Peter?"Gwen's voice whispered. It sounded no more than two feet away from me. _

Peter turned his head towards her and slowly, cautiously popped open an eye. He groaned again as he opened the other eye and was met by the bright lights in the Nurse's Office. Relief flooded through Gwen as she watched him squint and look around.

"Peter," she said again. "Are you ok, how do you feel?"

She felt kind of stupid asking that question. Obviously he wasn't completely ok and he probably felt like shit after being punched and flung into a locker. Peter didn't say anything at first; instead he started to push himself up into a sitting position on the green plastic medical bed. Once he had positioned himself to his liking, he talked for the first time.

"What happened?" He asked, ignoring her question and asking his own. Typical.

"Well after you passed out, people started freaking out. Yelling and screaming at Flash that he had just killed a kid. So he ran out of there as fast as he could.' Peter chuckled at that. Although Gwen could see the humor in the situation now, she had been scared out of her mind when it had happened.

"So MJ, Thomas, and I carried you to the office and explained what happened. They called your aunt and she should-"

"Wait, You let _Thomas_ carry me here?" Peter interrupted her. He said Thomas's name with a not so subtle hint of disgust.

"Yes, he was kind enough to help us," He scoffed at this and shook his head. Gwen was slowly getting angry with him. Here she was sitting by him, nursing his wounds and does he say thank you? No, he's yelling at her for letting Thomas help. "What's your problem Peter? He's a nice guy."

Gwen started dabbing at the scratch on his forehead with a wash cloth, when Peter snatched it from here and spat," Yeah, every guy is nice when they want something from a girl."

"No Peter, he didn't want anything. He was just trying to help you, like I am now. So stop being a jerk and hand over the towel." Now she was angry; he could be such a complete a-hole sometimes. He didn't hand it over either.

"I can do it myself Gwen. I don't need your help; Hell I don't need anyone's help. I get hurt all the time and I seem to manage without anyone knowing," He growled back at her. She crossed her arms and glared at him.

"Actually I would have to disagree. Peter, everyone sees the bruises and cuts you get. Everyone talks about it, whether you like it or not. And Peter, it hurts me to see you in pain and that's why I'm trying to help you now." She had slowly uncrossed her arms and reached out to Peter. When she touched his arm, he jumped up and off of the bed.

With his back turned to her, he said, "Why don't you go help your little boy toy Thomas?"

"I can't," Gwen snapped back. "You made sure of that didn't you? You couldn't just let me move on, you had to mess with my head just that much more."

"What are you talking about? I didn't do anything," by this time they were both yelling at each other. Gwen stormed up to him and with each word poked him in the chest.

"You told him to forget about me," Peter took a step back from her. "You did that Peter, just like you ended things between us. You don't have claims to me now, so stop messing up my life!"

"I'm not messing up your life Gwen, I'm saving it!" Peter was seething with anger.

"WELL WHY DON'T YOU JUST STAY THE HELL OUT OF MY LIFE!" Gwen shouted back. They both stopped and looked at each other, hate and anger flashing in both of their eyes. That was until they were interrupted.

"Mr. Parker, your aunt is here," the secretary said as she quickly popped her head into the room.

"_Alright," I hastily replied without taking my eyes away from Gwen's. Once the lady was gone I broke the eye contact with the girl in front of me and brushed past her. I quickly grabbed my backpack from the floor next to the bed and stomped over to the door. The whole time Gwen just stood there, not moving even an inch. _

_With all the anger I could put into my voice, I said," Gwen Stacy you don't know a damn thing, but if that's what you really want I'll go. Have a nice life with Mr. Thomas. I can see why you like him; he's just like you: shallow and selfish." _

_On my way out I slammed the door shut to the Nurse's Office. Not once did I ever look back at her. The women working in the main part of the school office looked up at me as I walked out, but no one said anything. I don't know if they could hear us fighting in there, but right now I didn't really care what anyone thought. _

_Aunt May was waiting out front by the car. The minute I walked out she hugged me and kissed the top of my head. She whispered in my ear that everything was ok; I was ok. She didn't know how wrong she really was. _

**A/N: Hey guys thanks for all the great reviews. I'm now making it my mission to post something every day if I can. We'll see how well that goes though. **

**Keep reviewing, liking, and sharing**

**Thanks: Foreverblueandwhite**


	3. Chapter 3

**Disclaimer: I own nothing and all that jazz**

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Chapter 3: And She Thought She Was In Trouble

_I'm banging my head against a wall. Literally I'm standing next to my window looking out at the street, all teenage angst-y like, and repeatedly smacking my head against the wall. I look over at the clock, for the millionth time, and see that it's still only one in the morning. I groan and go back to hitting my head against the wall._

"_You stupid, stupid, stupid, stupid person," I chant to myself over and over again. I've been in my room since I got home pacing, sitting down then getting back up, then some more pacing, and (most recently) banging my head against a wall. The incident with Gwen has been haunting me and I can't stop thinking about what I said and did. _

_Remember when I said call me whatever names you want because I disserve it? I'm opening that opportunity back up to the public again. I can't even remember exactly what we said to each other, I blacked out for part of it. All I know is that at the end of the whole ordeal I felt like a complete jerk. I know for a fact I just had to have broken her heart…AGAIN. Why do I do these things to myself? _

_I also understand that this whole thing was my fault, that I caused the issues that started the fight. So thank you ladies of the world for secretly hoping I get hit by a bus for the last ten hours. I know I should apologies to her, and I should do it soon, but how? How do I apologies to a girl who hates my guts, because every time I open my mouth around her I offend someone? _

Should I say something to her at school? _That's a terrible idea; way to many people to see me get my ass kicked by Gwen Stacy. _Maybe I could send her something like flowers. Yeah I could even write a "forgive me" note. _That idea is actually laughable. Who am I kidding? I have no money and I don't even know how to write a note to myself. _Well I could just go over and apologies in person.

_I pause the self inflicted assault on my head for a second, and looked up. That's actually not a bad idea. I hadn't actually been to Gwen's house since her father's death because I thought it was breaking the rules. Technically he didn't for sure say stay all the way away from Gwen. That actually hurt my own head. He had just said to not put her in danger by having her close. One visit to mend a mistake couldn't hurt, could it? _

_I grabbed my backpack with my spidey gear in it, just in case, and my phone. The front door wasn't a choice at this time of night, so I walked over to my window and tried to find the courage to leave. So…I stood there…for _twenty_ FREAKING _minutes. Was this really a good idea? Maybe I should just wait it out, let everything cool down. _No Parker, don't be a wuss, we can do this. It was now or never, Gwen could be asleep by now. So I dug deep and jumped out the window. _

_On the way to Gwen's apartment I tried to think of what to say. Obviously sorry, but how could I say it in a way that would make her understand I truly meant it. How could I say it without letting her know what I really felt deep down? Because deep down I wanted nothing more than to be with her. I wanted things to go back to normal between us, without the fighting and bickering. I wanted her to be the one I could go to in the early hours of the morning for help. _

_I've arrived at her building before I know it. I look up to about where her room is and can see a light. Maybe it's her, maybe it's not. Maybe she's awake, maybe she's not. There's only one way to find out. So I started climbing the twenty stories it took to get to her room. _

Gwen had been in an awful mood for the rest of the day. It had been so bad in fact even MJ had been weary of her. If she thought she was angry when she first went looking for him today, oh boy, then words couldn't even describe how angry she was now. He couldn't just be thankful she was still trying to help him after everything that had happened between them. But no, he could never act like a regular person, he had to be complicated.

So here she was now, at one in the morning, trying to find something to take her mind off of _Him_. She had tried just going to sleep, but that had only gotten her frizzy hair and messed up sheets. After about three hours of trying she just gave up, and got out of bed. On top of that the only thing she had found that night to take her mind off of how bad things were, was watching Spiderman videos online.

She knew she still had it bad for Peter Parker. The videos only confirmed her earlier fears of never being able to get over him. Gwen didn't know why it helped to watch him on shaky, poor quality videos. Maybe because watching him save innocent men, women, and children made her understand a little more why he gave her up for Spiderman. Maybe because she found it amazing how he could fly through the air with such grace, but could be a complete klutz on the ground. Maybe she just liked seeing him.

She missed everything about her old relationship. She missed his goofy, crooked smile that she knew was just for her. She missed being able to lace her fingers with his and walk close together. She missed being able to banter with him and not just bicker. But most of all she just missed him. How he could make her smile no matter what she was feeling. How he would come out of the shadows he usually walked in at school, in order to stand up for someone. How, without fail, he would text her every night when he got home to let her know he was safe.

Gwen was pulled from her brooding by a knocking sound. She paused the video she was watching and stayed perfectly still. She heard it again, and this time she knew exactly where and who the knocking was coming from. Spinning the chair around, Gwen forced herself to look out the window into the face of one Peter Parker.

_She met my eyes, but instead of the happiness I used to see, I was given only a glare. Trying to lighten the mood I smile back at her. Nothing, it was like she was made of stone; arms crossed and face steely. _Oh God, she might actually kill me this time, _I think to myself. I better make this apology quick then, because I know I'm not going to have long with her. So I point towards the lock on the window and mime opening it. _

_Nothing._

_I sigh and lean up against the wall of the fire escape I'm perched on. I look up to the sky right as thunder booms and rain starts to fall. Great, it's not bad enough that it's freezing out here, but now it has to rain. I start silently cursing the sky for all I'm worth when suddenly I hear a whizzing noise from Gwen's window. I snap my head down just in time to see the blinds close on the farthest window from me. When I look straight forward, there's Gwen standing at the window with the string for the blinds in her hand. _

_I jump up, leaning as close as I can up against the glass, and plead with my eye for her not to close them. She hesitates for a second and I think I might have gotten through to her. But she just shakes her head and pulls the string. I stand there and watch as she walks away and lets the blinds push me out of her world. _

"_Gwen please just let me apologies. I know I was wrong, ok, I know. I shouldn't have said those things." I stop and waited but was met by silence. _

_With a calmer, quieter voice I say, "Please Gwen I want to say I'm sorry, but I will only say it to your face….. Fine I'll just wait out here all night if I have to." I slumped down then on the damp fire escape to wait. I hoped she would come out soon because it really was cold out here. _

_Suddenly the light from her room flicked off, leaving me in semi darkness. I stood up and was about to yell for her when the police radio on my phone went off. There was a burning building close by, with people still inside. That was something I couldn't just leave, so after going back and forth for a minute I shot a web out into the night to find a place to change into my suit. _


	4. Chapter 4

**Disclaimer: I own nothing and all that Jazz**

**Review, follow, you guys know the drill**

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Chapter 4: People will believe anything

_I'm not entirely sure when Aunt May started screaming. It could have been when she first heard the news. My best guess is it was when she realized I wasn't downstairs eating breakfast. Either way I was asleep, that was until she started screaming my name like she had a gun pointed at her. Which, by the way, was exactly what my half asleep brain thought was happening. _

_I was having a lovely dream about sweeping a beautiful blonde off her feet and swinging into the sunset, when I thought I heard someone say my name. My dream self looked down at the young woman in my arms and watched as her lips formed my name again. _

"_Peter." _

_The only weird thing about this was not that Gwen was actually talking to me, (no in my dreams everything was still perfect between the two of us), it was that her voice sounded funny. It was a little older; scratchier. She said my name again but this time it sounded more desperate. Gwen's face changed from a relaxed smile to a worried frown. _

"_PETER!"_

_I bolted upright in bed, causing all my blankets to fly off the bed. I started dry washing my face with a hand in an attempt to wake myself up. I suddenly realized that there wasn't actually anyone calling my name. The room was completely silent. Quirking an eyebrow I scanned around my small, messy room looking for anything that could have possibly made that much noise. Finding nothing I stood up and started pulling on some sweat pants. Looking into the mirror across from my bed I checked out the scratch on my forehead. It was almost completely healed and didn't hurt anymore._

"_PETER PARKER!" The sudden sound, magnified by my super human hearing, scared the crap out of me. In an attempt to spin around towards the door, I stubbed my toe on the end of the bed. _

"_Son of a bi-"I was cut off but yet another scream. Instantly my mind flashed through all the possible reasons for Aunt May to be yelling like that. And for some terrible reason my brain decided that it must be because someone was robbing the house. My body went into overdrive and I started searching for some kind of weapon. Spotting my old wooden baseball bat that I never actually used, I picked it up and flung the door open. _

_Taking the steps two at a time, and finally jumping the last five, I landed in the main hallway. Slowly I started creeping towards the family room right down the hall from the stairs. I could hear the T.V. and news reporter talking about some killing. I sensed movement from the room and silently rolled landing right outside the room. Lifting my bat I shuffled towards the doorway, preparing to knock the block off of whoever was scaring Aunt May. _

_Right as I jumped into the open, she stepped around the corner and yelled, "PETER!"We stood there for a second just looking at each other. Both completely stunned by the other's presence._

"_Peter Parker, why are you holding a bat?" We both slowly looked the bat up and down. Why the hell was I holding a bat? I'm freaking Spiderman, I don't need a bat to stop a common criminal. _

_Lowering the bat I replied, "I don't…know." Aunt May just shook her head and ushered me towards the T.V._

"_You have to see what they've been saying on the News." As I watched, my jaw dropped and my bat fell to the floor, making a dull thunk._

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She was standing in her kitchen in complete shock. It couldn't be true; it had to be a mistake. Gwen couldn't believe what she was seeing and hearing. She felt like throwing up, but instead let out a choked sob as she watched the reporter on the T.V.

"It is my great displeasure to have to inform you all that the NYPD has released their official statement. The masked hero, Spiderman, is dead."

The final words were like a death sentence. She felt like the jail cell door had just closed her in on death row. How could this happen? How could Peter jump into a situation that could get him killed? He had never really been careful when acting as Spiderman while saving the city, but he had known his limits. At least she thought he had. What could have possibly been so bad and out of control that Peter had been killed?

Killed.

The word just sounded so hollow to her. It was the same way she had felt when the officers had come to her house announcing her own father's death. It had been worse than terrible getting the news about her father, but with Peter….she couldn't even find words to describe the hurt and emptiness she felt. The commercials had ended and the reporter was talking again.

"We've just been sent a video feed from last night's events concerning the now deceased masked enigma Spiderman. There were several different videos posted last night on many different media sites; however, few were very clear as to what was actually taking place. Our researchers searched all night until discovering this one." The camera cut from the reporter to a shaky, yet surprisingly clear, video of a burning building.

In the background Gwen could hear screaming, yelling, and shouting from the pedestrians and firefighters surrounding the building. Suddenly people started clapping and cheering. The camera panned down to see all the firefighter exiting the building; one of them carrying a young woman. Everything seemed ok until a loud crack rang through the air and the camera spun just in time to see the very top floor of the building cave in.

The woman, who had been carried out, started screaming and yelling something that the camera couldn't pick up. The man holding it asked what she was saying and a few people answered. Apparently her son was still trapped inside the building on the floor just below the one that had caved in. Worried murmurs started up amongst the crowd, everyone wanted to know how they were going to get the boy out.

There was a blur right past the camera and the crowd started cheering again. People were yelling to each other that it was Spiderman. He would fix everything; save the boy. Again the camera shot up towards the burning building. Flipping and flying through the air, Spiderman made his way to the top floor then dropped inside. Everything was going fine until another loud crack rang out and Spiderman still hadn't resurfaced from the building.

When the next floor started collapsing in and the hero and boy still hadn't come out, people started getting frantic. The mother was being held back by several men in the front as she screamed and yelled for her boy. The top floor had completely collapsed, but still people believed there was hope.

It wasn't until the rest of the building started falling that people started running away yelling at each other it was all over. And just when it seemed like there was no chance for either the masked man or the little boy to make it out, something shot out from the flames. The camera followed the dark blur as it flew towards the street lamp. An almost invisible string hit the light first and the object attached to the other end swung around a few times before coming to a stop.

The camera went back to the building as the rest of it fell in on itself. Dust and garbage flew through the air and for a moment the video showed only a blank screen. When the dust settled, the camera focused on the street lamp. Hanging from the very top was a young, dirty faced boy holding something. The shot zoomed in and clutched in the boys hand was a red mask. The mask of Spiderman.

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**A/N: Hey everyone. I would just like to thank you all for the great reviews and suggestions. They help a lot, and I never turn down good constructive criticism. I'm trying my hardest to make this an interesting story and it's great to hear you guys like it. So keep reviewing, liking, and sharing. **

**Thanks**

**Foreverblueandwhite**_  
_


	5. Chapter 5

**Disclaimer: I own nada not even the cute italics I know you all love ;)**

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Chapter 5: What if I wasn't Spiderman

_Holy Shit. I can't believe what I've just seen. I don't remember it all happening like that; it being so…dramatic. The reporter signs off and some dumb sandwich commercial starts up. Hmm avocado does sound pretty good doesn't it? I mentally shake my head; I need to stay focused here. I glance over at Aunt May who looks so flabbergasted it reminds me a little of a teenage girl meeting a famous rock star._

"_Good Lord Peter, what will the city do now?" She looks over at me with big scared eyes. I don't respond at first, the room still hasn't stopped spinning and my mind is too scrambled to think. _

"_Um..I-I-I don't…erm…well," I mumble an unintelligible response. Aunt May takes a deep breath that makes her shoulders rise and lets it out as loud has she can manage. _

_Leaning down to pick up my forgotten bat she says, "Well another hero lost to the world. It's a shame really; I liked what that young man stood for." She trailed off into the other room, the matter of the dead masked man already done with. Meanwhile I still hadn't picked my jaw up off the living room floor. When I did finally get my wits about me Aunt May was starting to head out. Purse in hand she came in, gave me a quick hug, and pulled her keys out._

"_Well Peter I'm off to work. I want you to stay home today, and I mean it mister. A personal day won't kill anyone, ok? I'll call the school, you go get some ice for that bruise, then straight back to bed." She kissed his forehead and then called from the door, "Oh and if you need me at all use your cell phone."_

"_Why?" I asked back not really caring, I always use my cell phone anyways._

"_I have the phone guys coming today to install some new something or other. I'm not really sure what it's called, but they have to cut off the phone lines for a while. I think the man on the phone said it may even be a couple of days," I grunted in acknowledgment. Shaking her head, Aunt May closed and locked the door leaving me alone._

_I flicked off the T.V. and shuffled into the kitchen. Breakfast was still on the table so I took a set and started in on my Ego waffles. I realized about half way through I should probably grab that ice, Aunt May would know if I hadn't. Some days I swear that women had more secrete powers than I did. It's like she could sense whenever I had or hadn't done something. Like she could sense something in the Force. Walking over to the freezer I chuckled to myself picturing Aunt May with a light saber in one hand while the other was thrust out towards some evil doer. _

_I plucked up some ice and wrapped it in a kitchen towel. When I closed the freezer door I got another peek at the shiner around my eye and the cut on my forehead. Jesus that thing looked bad. It's not that it hurt much it just looked terrible. And when I thought about it, Gwen was right; I seem to be sporting quite a few of these bad boys as of late. Which by the way kind of sucks. Not only do they hurt but it always gets me unwanted looks and whispers. I wish it would all just go away sometimes. I wish all the stress and pain and bruises and cuts, all of it, would just go away. I sighed knowing that was just day dreaming. As long as I was Spiderman I would always be getting into trouble, and trouble meant pain. No the only way to skirt the pain was if I wasn't Spiderman._

_If I wasn't Spiderman….._

_What if I wasn't Spiderman? _

* * *

Gwen couldn't tare herself from the kitchen counter. She had such a death grip on the counter her knuckles had turned white. On top of her spinning head and knuckles that were slowly losing feeling, suddenly her mom was calling her. It was time to go school. She heard her brothers pushing and shoving as they squeezed through the front door. Her mom called her name again and walked into the kitchen. Seeing her daughter pale and shaky, she rushed forward.

"Gwen, honey, what's the matter? What happened? Why do you look so shaken?" In her mother's arms Gwen finally broke down. Her mother became increasingly worried and shook her daughter a little and asked again what had happened. Sniffling Gwen finally pulled herself together enough to answer her.

"Mo-mom it-its Spid-Spiderman…He's-He's-He's dead," and again fell into the comforting arms, tears and sobs escaping without any control. Gwen wasn't sure what she was expecting from her mother in response, but sure wasn't ready for what her mother did. She laughed.

She FREAKING laughed.

"Oh Gwen," she chuckled smoothing back her daughter's hair, "You scared me there, I thought something truly terrible had happened." Gwen snapped her head up and frowned.

"Mom that is a terrible thing to happen. He-Is-Dead." Mrs. Stacy laughed again and held Gwen out at arm's length.

"Honey I didn't know you were that big of a fan to a masked enigma. I mean I understand a moment of silence, but a full blown melt down? For heaven's sake Gwen the man is a stranger, you don't even know him." Oh how wrong she was; how very wrong she was. "Gwen if you are going to cry like that over a boy, have him at least be your age. What about that nice young man who came over for dinner awhile back, what ever happened there?"

Gwen just stared at her mother. The woman had absolutely no idea what had just happened. And how could she? Her mother hadn't know that Peter and her had actually dated, and she sure has heck didn't know he was (or had been) Spiderman. She just couldn't fathom even trying to talk to her mom right now and huffed out of the room to go clean herself up. While in the bathroom she tried to distract herself so she wouldn't start crying again and ruin her makeup…again. The only thing that worked was hope. Hope that maybe it was all just a huge mistake, that Peter was actually fine. Deep down she knew it was false hope, but it was the only thing that kept her from bursting into more tears.

Either way it put her in a better, no different mood. Not a better mood, but she wasn't totally drowning in sadness. If anything she was almost excited to get to school and find Peter. Maybe everything would be fine and she would walk in to see him wrestling his locker open while simultaneously fighting off the gross couple. And with that image and hope in mind Gwen walked out the door.

* * *

_I was laid out in bed staring at my phone trying to make a decision. Should I call Gwen and tell her everything is ok? Should I text a quick check in like I used to? Should I do anything? I sighed, what was I so worried about anyways? Gwen never watched the news and probably hadn't seen the report. Even if she had, she probably knew the reporters were just making stuff up again. She probably didn't care what had happened to me last night._

_I sighed again and held down the button on the top of my phone. As the phone shut down I tossed it towards my desk and rolled over in bed. I closed my eyes and the last thoughts that ran through my head before falling back asleep were of Gwen. _

_Wow I really had screwed things up majorly._

* * *

**Hey guys: Well I'm really sorry I haven't posted in a long time. I know I said I would try and post everyday but I got really sick. Guess who cheeped out on their flu shot this year? Guess who is really regretting it now? Yeah well we are back in business my friends so expect those updates again.**

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	6. Chapter 6

**Disclaimer: I own not a single little itty-bitty piece of Spiderman :( **

* * *

Chapter 6: Four Days Later

_Wow, that is a lot of messages. I looked down at the phone console where a small red two and one blink angrily up at me. Twenty-one messages were left on our voice mail. Hmm wonder who died. I picked up the phone and lifted it to my ear letting the messages start to play out. The first one was some surveyor wondering if we were interested in a great new drug to help muscle growth. I looked down at the arm not holding the phone and flexed it a little. _

"_Hmm," I hummed to myself as I clicked through the next couple of junk messages. I was in the process of writing down a name and number for Aunt May when there was a knock at the back door. Wedging the phone between my shoulder and ear, I let the phone guy in._

"_Well that's about it sir, everything is hooked back up. If you need anything here's my card," the man handed me a slip of paper and I thanked him. I set down the phone, still playing through all the messages and walked the guy to the door. Just as I was about to close it Aunt May pulled up in the car. _

"_Peter, dear, would you come help me take these groceries in from the car?" Nodding I walked over and started unloading the trunk. I loaded my arms up with several bags and took them in to the kitchen. When I turned around Aunt May was standing there holding out a small blue shopping bag._

"_What's that?" I asked eyeing up the bag._

"_This, sir, would be your new cell phone," she said. I smiled and when I reached out for the bag she snatched it back. "Oh no, you don't get off that easy mister. You have to promise me you won't be so careless with this new one. I swear this has to be the third phone you've accidently sent through the wash. Remind me again Peter how this one got in there," she glared at me._

"_Um…well, I kinda, sorta, may have…erm…I may have turned it off and thrown it," I said the last part all in one breath with my eyes pointed at the floor. There was silence and when I chanced a look up at Aunt May I could make out the outline of a smile. I gave her a goofy grin which set off hers in return. _

"_Oh that's just not fair Peter. You know I can't stay made at you when you smile like that. Just take the phone and finish bringing in the groceries. Oh, and the young man at the mall said that all the old stuff was still in there and when its turned on it should be ready to go." I thanked her all the way out the door. _

_I unpacked the rest of the car and started up my new phone. It was a real killer finding out that I had destroyed another phone last Friday when I had taken the day off. I had to wait till Monday to get another one, but luckily there wasn't any school today so I could have the whole day to mess around with the new one. The little start up animation started playing as I rounded the corner to the kitchen. I looked up to Aunt May with a smile, but it was quickly wiped from my face. She was standing there with the phone to her ear; her face completely pail. She met my eyes and without saying a word, held the phone out to me. Fearing what I might be about to hear, I slowly raised it to my ear. _

"_Peter, this isn't funny anymore. I've tried everything. You haven't been answering your cell phone and-and-and I just don't know what to think anymore," Gwen Stacy's voice came through the speaker mumbled and clearly upset. Her sentence was cut off by a choked sob when the message ended. I clicked to the next one._

"_Hi, this is Gwen…um Peter please just pick up. Please Peter, I can't take it anymore," again the message was cut right as obvious tears started. The next six messages were all the same until I finally reached the last one. I slowly lowered the phone from my ear and without looking away from the spot I had been staring at in the yard, I handed it to Aunt May. My phone started beeping and buzzing like crazy, and the screen showed all the missed text messages and calls from Gwen. _

"_Oh Peter, what have you done," Aunt May's voice was little more than a whisper but somehow seemed to echo throughout the room. _

* * *

Gwen hadn't left her room since she had gotten back from school Friday. He hadn't been in homeroom. He hadn't been in English. He hadn't been in Biology. He hadn't been at lunch. He hadn't been at break. He hadn't been at his locker. He hadn't been there at all. No one had seen or heard from him, and Gwen at searched high and low for any information.

She had tried calling his cell. She had tried texting him. She had tried emailing him. She had even called his house several times, only getting the number after some serious digging. She had called, gotten no answer, and then left a message. After that she had cried for a little while, collected herself, and then tried calling again.

Nothing.

She had received no answer at all. The only message she had gotten from him was the one she had found Friday night. She had gone been crying for a several hours and it had become dark when she finally let go of the last sob. Thinking that the cold Autumn air would help calm her frantic mind down, she had gone out onto the fire escape. Gwen had been sitting there for some time when a large gust of wind had rushed by. She had heard the sound of something whipping against the metal railing to her left.

Upon further investigation she had discovered a scrap of paper, obviously ripped from some notebook. There had even been half of a math problem on the back. On the front had been Peter's message to her when he had left. Now Gwen looked down at it with haunted eyes. His last words to her had been a plead to listen to him written on the back of a homework assignment.

_HEY GWEN,_

_I know you are mad at me, I get it. I messed up big time. But just hear me out ok…_

_I'm Sorry_

_I know you just trying to help me out and I know you meant well. But you know me, I'm not good with letting people in._

_I have to go now but I'll be back, and when I get back we are going to talk. I won't take no for an answer._

_I mean it,_

_Peter_

It wasn't long, and it wasn't happy. It was a plead to her to listen to his apology. She still hadn't forgiven herself for shutting the blinds on him that night and she knew she never would. If she had just let him inside and talked with him, he wouldn't have gone racing off to that building. He would have been safe with her.

Gwen lay there on her bed staring at her phone. She didn't want to call him again and only get the answering machine. She didn't want to hear Aunt May or Peter's voice mail messages saying they would call back as soon as they could. They hadn't called back yet. Gwen had done everything she could think of to get a hold of him. Well everything except go to his house.

She was afraid to in all honesty. If she went and he wasn't there then his death would be heart breakingly final. That would be that and she couldn't hope or dream her way out of it. She hadn't become that desperate yet. However right now she was feeling pretty desperate, and was trying to find the courage to go to his house.

An hour later she thought she had finally found her courage. She was standing in front of her bedroom door, shoes on and coat in hand. Gwen stood there….just stood there, staring. Looking into the wood for some hint of courage. She sighed and looked down at her watch; she had been standing there for too long. She should be half way to his house; halfway to seeing Peter. Just his name gave her a little jolt of adrenaline. Enough, in fact, to gather herself and open her bedroom door.

With purpose, Gwen strode through her apartment. She soon found herself face to face with the front door. She eyed it down, took a deep breath, and flung open the door. There standing in front of her was Peter Park.

* * *

**Hey guys: I hope you like this new chapter. I've been writing like a crazy person now that I've got enough energy to move my tiny little fingers. In fact I've gotten quite a few chapters in and let me tell you…you're all in for some exciting things ;) **

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	7. Chapter 7

**Disclaimer: I own not a single thing **

* * *

Chapter 7: Please Don't Go

_After being chewed out by Aunt May and not being able to explain why Gwen was so upset, I started walking. I walked from my house to hers, using the time to try and come up with something to say. I had to come up with something pretty good because just showing up and going, "_Oh yeah, guess I'm not dead. See you around," _wasn't going to do it._

_It took me half an hour to finally come up with my little speech and run it through my head until I was sure I had every word down. My plan was to apologize, explain what happened, and then give a friendly not-crossing-the-line hug for comfort. And I knew she was going to be mad, so to save myself from the huge rant I would no doubt receive, I would start as soon as the door opened. _

_I finally arrived at Gwen's apartment building and for once took the elevator up the twenty stories to her floor. I stood in front of her door just staring at it. _Was this really a good idea? _I had to do this, I couldn't leave Gwen alone any longer with the idea that I was dead and gone. So I took a deep breath and drudged up all the confidence I could muster. Slowly I raised my fist to knock. I was just about to make contact with the door, when suddenly it was flung open._

_There standing in front of me was a very haggard looking Gwen Stacy. We met eyes and both froze. I took in all of her and realized just how big of a mistake I had truly made. Her eyes looked like they were now permanently blood shot from what could only be because of tears. Right under her eyes were huge dark circles. Her usually immaculate hair was frizzy and carelessly tied in a bun. Everything from her hair to her clothes just screamed pain and sadness. She looked weak and vulnerable. And beautiful. _

_Looking down at the only girl I had ever truly loved, my entire practiced speech flew out of my head. Instead I said the most eloquent thing I have ever uttered to Gwen._

"_Um…er…Hi?"_

* * *

She couldn't believe her eyes. There he was standing in front of her…completely fine. He didn't even have the nasty bruise courtesy of Flash anymore. Peter was just the same old geeky, lanky kid he usually was. She looked him right in the eye and watched has his gaze swept her face. Blushing she couldn't believe she had been about to storm out looking like this. Her hair was going everywhere, she wasn't wearing any makeup, and her outfit was less than fantastic with a wrinkled old t-shirt and jeans.

"Um…er…Hi?" He said has he awkwardly scratched the back of his neck. It pulled emphases to his messy hair that she always loved. She stared in awe at how normal he seemed, yet something was wrong with his eyes. There was something in them that she couldn't quiet place. She kept staring at his face trying to figure out what was wrong, and forgot to even answer him.

She finally figured out what it was that danced in his eyes. It was guilt, for what she could only guess.

The silence dragged on for several more moments, the two teenagers just standing there looking at each other. Somewhere along the line the silence became unbearably awkward, and they both looked away. Gwen was about to say something and looked up to see Peter about to talk at the same time. They both stopped and snapped their mouths shut. Gwen watched as Peter turned his head away and then turn back with a smile that always gave her goose bumps. It was a goofy kind of smile that reminded her of only a few short months ago, when he would smile at her like that and then lean in for a kiss.

"Um…do you mind…I mean c-could ah…can I come in," he stuttered out.

* * *

_Gwen's eyes widened, she lifted a finger and looked like she was about to answer. Suddenly this look of horrible anger crossed her face and she slammed the door shut. The sound of the door echoed throughout the quiet hallway. I was slightly taken aback by her outburst of fear and anger. I scanned my eyes over the door hoping maybe if I looked hard enough I might suddenly develop a new super power. _

_X-Ray vision_

_I raised my hand to try and knock again, but was stopped by the sound of crying. My heart felt like it had just dropped into my stomach. This was all my fault. She shouldn't be crying over me now or ever. I should have made a better effort to stay away. I should have never gone to her house that night to explain myself. Gwen deserved more than I could ever give her. She deserved to be safe and happy. She deserved to be with a guy that would be there for her when she needed him. A guy that wouldn't be in constant danger that could potentially affect her._

_I lowered myself into a crouching position right where I could hear Gwen crying on the floor. I sighed and leaned my forehead against the cool wood of her front door. I had made up my mind, I was going to stay out of Gwen Stacy's life…forever. She knew I was safe and could move on now. When I got back to school I would change out of all of the classes we had together. I would get a new locker in a new hallway. I would stay away from her whether that be in school or out of it. I would effectively remove myself from every part of her life._

"_Gwen, listen to me, ok?" I started out in a soft voice that was almost a whisper. "I came here tonight so that you would have some closer. I'm fine, really I am. I'm sorry, so very sorry, for all the pain I have caused you now and when we broke up. I know I should have been there for you but I wasn't and even if your father hadn't made me promise, this still wouldn't have worked out. I'm not good for you Gwen, this little escapade just proves that. So I'm going to leave now, and I hope that someday you'll understand why it is I do the things I do. Its to protect you Gwen, you have to be safe...I need you to be safe. My job could get you into some serious trouble. Trouble that could kill you, and I'm willing to risk my life but never yours Gwen."_

_I sat there for a second, waiting for some kind of response. None came and I leaned away from the door to stand up. I turned my back and started down the hallway, when I heard the door open._

* * *

Gwen had shut the door on Peter and the slowly slid down the door to sit on the floor. She couldn't believe her own mind. This was some kind of terrible joke her own brain was playing on her. It had to be a dream it just had to be. The real Peter would have answered his phone or called her back as soon as he had seen the messages. When he didn't she knew something horribly wrong must have happened. That's why she knew this was a dream.

He had stood in front of her totally fine; nothing wrong with him at all. When he started talking she couldn't believe how really cruel her brain was. He was alive and well standing mere inches away from her. But he was rejecting every part of her. His words were a mess she didnt understand, but the true meaning of them was crystal clear. She just couldn't believe it.

"_Well," _she thought to herself. "_If this is a dream I'm at least going to get one thing I want."_

With that thought she stood up and opened the door. She looked first one way down the hall and didn't see him, then looked the other way. There he was walking away towards the elevators. Gwen started towards him and slowly picked up the pace till she was practically sprinting. She knew how these dreams usually went. She would get all the way to him, turn him around, and then wake up.

She yelled out his name and he turned around towards her just has she caught up to him. He looked down at her with a questioning look and was just about to say something when she stopped him.

* * *

_There she was running down the hall after me. She stopped with just a few inches still left between us. I raised an eyebrow and was about to ask what she was doing when she closed the last couple of inches. She put both hands around my neck and pulled my head down. Then she did the one thing I had been wishing for, for five months._

"_Please don't go."_

_Then she kissed me._

* * *

**A/N: Hey guys sorry about not updating recently I've been super busy with a new job. I promise I havent forgotten about all of you and I'll update when I can. So like always I have to ask:  
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	8. Chapter 8

**Disclaimer: I own nothing **

* * *

Chapter 8: I shouldn't be here

_Her lips attach to mine and it's like the world explodes. All my senses suddenly think they have to take everything in at once. I can feel every stitch of Gwen's sweater under my hands that have circled around her waist. I can smell the mix of vanilla and lemon that makes up Gwen's perfume. Lights flash behind my closed eyes; creating my own personal firework show. I can hear Gwen's nails scratch against my scalp as she moves her hands into my hair. The kiss tastes as sweet as the very first one, but with a hint of wintergreen. Its everything I had hoped, wished, and dreamed about since her father's death. _

_I lose myself in the kiss, pulling Gwen's body closer to mine and lowering my head even further. This little voice though at the back of my mind starts chanting just as I think everything is perfect in the world. I try to ignore it and focus just on the girl in my arms but its quickly barreling its way into the front of my thoughts. As much as I try to brush it aside the voice finally breaks through the invisible wall I've built in my mind._

This isn't right. This isn't right. This isn't right.

_And I know it isn't. I know at this moment I'm breaking several promises I've made. I'm breaking the one I made to the Captain, I'm breaking many I made to myself, and I'm breaking the one I made to Gwen when I said we were done. But how can something that feels so right be so wrong? How come I can't be happy for once? I start slowing the kiss from frantic to passionate._

This isn't right. This isn't right. This isn't right.

_I mentally sighed and used every ounce of will power I have in me. I pull away from Gwen's heavenly lips and ever so slightly push away from her. I don't take my hands from her waist but I do force her to lower hers to my shoulders. Resting my forehead against hers I open my eyes to see Gwen's bright blue ones are still closed. We're both breathing heavily and I take a moment to catch my breath. _

* * *

Gwen opened her eyes to see Peter staring at her. Even though she didn't know what they were, Gwen could see all of his emotions swirling through his eyes. She slowly slid her hands down his shoulders, to his arms, and then finally stopped at his hands on her waist. Gwen softly pulled his hands off her hips and watched as Peter snapped his gaze to the floor. She doesn't want him to get the wrong idea about the movement and quickly threads the fingers of both her hands with his.

Peter hesitantly looks back up and she flicks her eyes back and forth with a questioning look set on her face. She doesn't get an answer from him so she reaches out and places her hands on his face, cupping it. He then suddenly looks guilty for reasons she can't understand. All she does know is that her lips are still slightly buzzing like electricity is bouncing around them. And that he's still here.

"You're real," she says quietly to him. She watches as a small smile spreads across his lips.

"Why wouldn't I be?" He quips back. His smile grows even bigger while he takes hold of her wrists.

With a serious face set like stone she looks him in the eye and says, "Because I watched you die." His smile is gone faster than she can blink. Peter softly but with meaning pulls Gwen's hands from his face.

"Gwen I-" he starts but she quickly cuts him off.

"Stop. We need to talk and I know it's important. But we aren't going to do it here."

Gwen pulls one hand away, and laces the other one back with his. She then begins to pull him back towards her apartment. He surprisingly lets her drag him in and through the living room back towards her room. She hears her mom calling her from the kitchen but ignores it for the moment. They reach her room and she opens the door and practically throws him in.

* * *

_She closed the door behind her, but keeps her back to me. Not really knowing what to do I shuffle my feet and look around her bedroom. I haven't been in here for a long time and the other night when I stopped by I hadn't gotten the chance to look around much. I see she's moved some things around a little but for the most part its exactly how I remember it. We both look up as we hear her mom calling her name. Gwen sighs and finally turns back around to face me._

"_Stay right there….please. I promise I'll be right back." She just looks at me waiting. I finally nod my head and she jumps out into the hallway, leaving me alone. _

This isn't right. This isn't right. This isn't right.

_I know for a fact I shouldn't be here. I know I should have left when we were still in the hallway. I shouldn't have let Gwen drag me into her house. I glance over at the window leading to the fire escape. It was starting to look very appealing. I mean what was I going to say to Gwen? I had nothing really planned to explain to her. Like why I hadn't called to let her know I was ok. Or what had actually happened. No I couldn't because that was a long complicated story. _

This isn't right. This isn't right. This isn't right.

_But I can't just leave her like that. I can't leave without saying something. But I shouldn't be here to begin with. But I can't leave her. But all this is so wrong I shouldn't have let the kiss happen. But it's what I really want, even Aunt May says I deserve to be happy. But Gwen will be in danger. But she knows what that's like right. And she wants to be with me. She said out there before kissing me she didn't want me to go. We could talk this all out and find a way to fix what I've so stupidly broken. I've been a total jerk to her lately and she needs- no deserves, better than that._

* * *

Gwen went and talked with her mom. She explained how Peter was just here to work on homework and would be gone in a little bit. She didn't think he would stay for dinner, so told her mother as much. With everything straightened out Gwen practically ran back to her room. She couldn't believe Pete was alive and well….and in her room. She smiled a little to herself and touched her lips. It still felt like his were there, moving with hers.

She opened up her door and quickly shutting it behind herself. She looked down to make sure she had it locked.

"So Peter you should probably start with-"She stopped as she looked around to find the room empty. Looking around she saw everything were it should be except the window. It was open. The breeze flouted in making the curtains wave back and forth. Gwen slowly walked over to it with a hand on her hip and a hand scratching right behind her ear. Looking at this very familiar she let out a huge sigh.

Well at least he wasn't dead.

* * *

**A/N: Hey guys. I know this is a shorter chapter but its kind of a filler for whats to come. **

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